A small thing. Almost nothing. A throw-away.

*clears throat*

I've been married for almost 14 years. In those 14 years I've been with my husband for 11. Therefore separated for 3. In the past 3 years I've had one boyfriend. ONE.

Two blokes in fourteen years. It's hardly Madam Whatsername.

Yes, I'm still married. No, I shouldn't be with someone till that's officially over on paperwork. Do I care? Not particularly.

Recently I have realised that a very few select people think I'm slutty. It's hard to know why. But folk are brought up in different circumstances.

My mum was a christian, but she actually had a couple of flings with married guys. She was divorced, they were not quite divorced but getting there.

I was pursued, out of view by others, for months. It was nice. It confused me, being so out of view, but I accepted that to a degree.

It saddens me to see people's assumptions of that and their cattiness towards me. It's their problem, I know. But I have to deal with how it affects me. I have to deal with re-adjusting to this. Feeling more vulnerable around them, etc.

Re-adjusting how I feel about friends I no longer see too. Clicky groups and judgements. It's the way it is. It is what it is.

Feels so fucking good to get that off my chest.